i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
