I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Im part way to drunk.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
