i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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