How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
