Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
