Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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