I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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