then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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