Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Randomize
