like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
