I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
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I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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