Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
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I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
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She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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