I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
