So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The feeling are messing with the penis
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
