You can't special order awesome
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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