we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
