Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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