1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
