If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
