lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
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its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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