he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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