I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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