This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
