...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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