Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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