found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
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They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
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This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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