so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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