YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
