i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
it was like eating out sand paper
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
