Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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