u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
