Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
You don't make any sense
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