so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
