So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Text me some of your sweat
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize