i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
