I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize