you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
