My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
