Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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