Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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