your thong is hanging out like whoa
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
