I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
