His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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