I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
