Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
