"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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