Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
