no you cant smoke seaweed
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
