You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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