need another drink. this is the easiest way
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
