Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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