my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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