and next time when you feel me up, do it right
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
