he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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