my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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