I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
two words: eviction party
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize